Beached Whale washed ashore
Originally uploaded by chloe & mark nightingale

So I had trouble sleeping this morning because my trackball hips were a little achey (they get like that if I lie down for too long sometimes) -- okay, it was just the left hip joint.. I was a teeny wee bit concerned that our weekly 3.5 mile round-trip walk to the paper shop would do a number on my hips, but I actually feel a lot better after the walk! Actually, I felt better as soon as I got up, but the walk was very invigorating!

I'm glad the clowns didn't attack me in my sleep! ;p


Also, I spent a small fortune sending flowers and a plant to my awesome German paternal grandmother (who is in a nursing home after a stroke) through FTD.com because they took paypal and because they said all paypal members get 20% off. I didn't get the 20% off, the "brimming with hope" rose plant I ordered had 2 rotten brown roses on it instead of lots of yellow ones (hardly 'brimming with hope'), and the vase for the orchids was broken on arrival. I emailed them asking for a refund on the rose plant and a partial refund on the orchid vase. My aunt, probably the most positive person ever, is the one who told me about the vase and rose plant -- if she says the plant looked bad, it must have been REALLY bad -- I'm not sure I've ever even heard her say anything negative before! My aunt had another vase on hand for the orchids, thankfully.

This morning, I received an email back ignoring both the vase issue and my lack of a 20% discount issue saying that in order to replace the rose plant, they would have to refund my paypal account and charge a credit card. Okay, first of all, I picked them because I wanted to pay with paypal I'm not giving them my credit card number. Secondly, I asked for a refund and not a replacement on the rose plant -- I worked in a flower shop and we would have been raked across the coals if anything like that would have left our shop and we always rectified broken vases and offered refunds and such (even though florists are notoriously cheap).

At least the orchids turned out splendidly, despite the vase issue. You can always count on orchids and tropicals.

So, since I'm due in ~ 2 weeks but could really pop at any time (a friend of mine from GCC was due the same day and popped last early last week!), I figured I would make a few predictions:

He will be born late. (I would love to be wrong on this one, but statistically, first kids are late.)
Bald, but eventually brown hair (which will likely start off light, like mine did).
Brown eyes (possibly brownie-green, but never ever blue).
He will weigh between 7.5 - 8.5 pounds.
Labour will suck, but be relatively uncomplicated and last no longer than 18 hours.

Week 39 starts today.

Dang, Mark phoned his mom and she's seen the flickr photos, said I was looking really big (no kidding), and asked how much I weighed. So Mark said I weighed as much as him and when she asked how much that was, he said, well, mom, how much do you weigh? She didn't want to say and Mark said, it's only fair for you to disclose your weight if you're asking our weight. We weigh 6 pounds more than she does. But Mark's mom was all, oh, well, I didn't weigh this much when I was pregnant.* And Mark was all, Oh, well, you must be getting fat then, letting yourself go! ;p
Mark is my little hero. I thought that was a pretty awesome comeback. I mean, sheesh, lady, you're feeling competitive weight-wise with a pregnant lady, what the heck is wrong with you!? Not to mention, I'm probably going to give birth to bigger babies than she did. Mark was like 5.5 pounds. Even if my kid only weighs 7.5 pounds, that's 2 more pounds. I was 9.5 pounds.

*Which is a lie.

Did I mention Mark's maternal grandparents phoned a couple weeks ago saying they wanted to get us something for the baby, but said they heard I was being very strict and picky about what we want? I'm sure I mentioned it. I asked for a diaper bucket and they said just to buy one and they'd pay us back. Well, we got the £5 cheque, but they also enclosed a letter saying that they didn't think the baby would appreciate a nappy pail and here are 2 stuffed animals, we got them second hand (they like second hand as much as I do and both volunteer in second hand shops) and they have been cleaned and even though one of them doesn't have the child-safely label, it should still be safe.
*SIGH*
This is exactly what I was trying to avoid! I have a HUGE box of my old toys my mom sent me -- so many, I had to lay down the law and tell my mom not to send us any more toys. (Of course, she had to send us ONE MORE, but it was different, because...)
I'm sure you're wondering what they got. One was a wee teddy bear, which is cute, except I have been given at least 4 of those by now. The other is a chain of 3 terrifying stuffed clowns with x's for eyes. I HATE CLOWNS! THEY CREEP ME OUT!!

I am going to donate the scary clowns to charity.

Also, I would rather my kids didn't have stuffed animals until they are past the 'I CHEW ON THINGS' phase because stuffed animals (at least the fuzzy ones) are good at catching dirt and fluff and dust and such. I know that is a particular Chloe-hang-up (thinking stuffed animals are kind of grotty), though.
SCARY SCARY CLOWNS!!!

I think from now on when people ask if they can get us anything or if we need anything for the baby, I am just going to say no. At least with older people. People closer to my age seem to be better at sending practical things and more understanding about my fear of too much stuff. Then again, I have loads of baby stuff, I don't think I need any more (other than diapers (both kinds), because I am a posh cloth diaper (and wrap) addict and don't have enough in all the right sizes and will be using disposables when I travel anyway).

X-EYED CLOWNS OF DOOM!!!

Sometimes I think nearly all my minor ailments can be cured by a combination of one or more of the following: whisky, honey, lemon juice, fresh ginger root, cayenne pepper.

I would add (black) tea, peppermint, cider vinegar, and hot water as secondary cures.

They say some pregnant women just glow.
Originally uploaded by chloe & mark nightingale

I'm pretty cool -- I mean, I'm in my ninth month pf pregnancy and I just fixed 2 doorknobs in the house (in a skirt, no less). One of them only needed the drill, a screwdriver (for the one bit where the screwdriver drill-bit was too stubby to reach), and some elbow grease, but the other was really whacked out and needed pliers, the drill, and a staple-gun (whoever tried to fix it the last time wasn't as handy as I am and did the WORST job of it on both doors, one of them even had glue on the inside of the knob from a failed gluing attempt). Now both doorknobs are secure and won't keep wiggling loose and falling off.

Bertie doesn't mind the drill, but he did NOT like the staple gun. (He doesn't like it when I use a sewing machine for very long, either.) He is really wiggling around. I'm going to wash my hands, make a little drink (not THAT kind of drink), and try to calm him down a bit with some belly rubs.

Mark just asked, "if you're so handy, why did you keep asking me to bring you all the tools?" "Because I'm in my 9th month of pregnancy and getting up and down and going back and forth to get the tools is a pain in the butt!" "Oh, okay. Want some cucumber?" "Sure!"

Date:	2008-05-01 11:57
Subject:	glaukopis tagged me ages ago...
Security:	Public

List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself:

1. the23 and I have been together for 9 years, married for 9 this summer.

2. Whenever we go walking, even now that I'm heavily pregnant, if a dog comes along, I protect Mark by walking between him and the dog. In exchange, Mark points out dog poo on the sidewalk so I don't step in it.

3. I'm not stinky. I almost never get stinky pits as long as I wear some kind of deodorant. I got this new rock deodorant that is just a hunk of salt that you wet and rub in your pit and I swear, I can put it on once and go a week without getting stinky. Also, I never get toe cheese.

4. I used to have a depression-era level of obsession with keeping anything that might be of value or use someday. A few years ago, I started fighting it and, with Mark's help, did a great job of purging. I am so much better, but now I've offended my in-laws (boo-hoo) by saying we didn't want any unapproved baby stuff so we don't end up with too much. I even had to tell my mom no more baby toys, as we have a huge box full of toys, most of which, he won't even be able to play with for a couple years. Even now, I see stuff in the garbage that looks interesting and feel the temptation. "Stuff. STUFF. S T U F F." I'm not beyond dumpster diving (snagged an antique mirror and a retro mirror and a pair of pinking shears when we were moving), but I only take what I need or will be able to immediately use.

5. I don't like pets (other than fish) and don't have any, despite being a vegan and pro-animal rights. I'm not really an animal person at all, but I will still capture insects and spiders and release them into the wild, rather than killing them.

6. I pretty much can't write songs unless my life sucks. If I'm having really bad days, the songs write themselves (not always depressing ones, all kinds), but lately, I can't write music. The muse just isn't there. Then again, at least my life doesn't suck. ;p

7. Not everyone knows this, but I used to be an electrical engineer. I got fired, but I hated that fucking job anyway. I should never have majored in EE, but I was 16 when I applied for college (which is when we had to choose a major) and didn't know any better.

Bonus #8. Olives are my favourite food, but I am really picky about quality and cannot stand mushy ones. *gag*

Bonus #9. We don't have a bed or a mattress. We sleep on a pile of blankets on the floor, mattresses get too mushy on us too fast. I like really stiff mattresses. If I weren't pregnant with a baby-track-ball-head in my hips, I could sleep on concrete.

How do they always do such a good job of making creepy molesters and rapists have such scary eyes? Or do they just all have scary eyes?

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/04/30/austria.meeting/index.html?eref=rss_latest

Yesterday, I had to get up early to catch the bus and train to get to my appointment (I left at 9 and arrived just in time -- 11:15) and Mark, who had been up late, was all confused and said, "I'm getting up now, too. I didn't set my alarm because I knew you did." So I got up and Mark is just lying in bed looking all tired. I poked him in the head with my toes and said, "Hey, little doodle-bug, you were up late last night," to which he replied, "I was confused. I'm not getting up now."

Thought I was getting mild heartburn last week, but none of the suspected offending foods have caused any trouble since. I wonder if that weird seedy bread I was eating (at the same time I was having the heartburn scare) was responsible for the weird gutty chesty pain.

My belly is popping out of the bottom of all my maternity shirts -- even the really long ones! I can't wait until it gets warmer so I can just wear moo-moos all the time! ;p

I'm too big-bumped to ride my bike (I could ride it last week with my knees out to the side, but it's just not feasible any more), but I walked 3.5 miles Sunday and about the same yesterday (had a midwife appointment).

Mark's maternal grandparents phoned saying they heard we are very picky about what we want (we are, I don't want a lot of stuff and have already had to lay down the law with my mom and told her no more toys, dear god, no more toys) and asked if we needed anything. They seemed really amused when I said I still needed a diaper pail (they got Arthur, great-grandson #1, a mobile, bah! also, my pack-n-play has those hangy things already anyway and mom got me this Winnie the Pooh that hangs and plays depressing music box music and I was thinking of making jan_andrea's black & white mobile anyway, although my dude will be in a moses basket at first, so it's all moot anyway) and said if I got one they'd pay me back. Well, I got one. It cost a whopping £5. I hate how a regular bucket is just a couple bucks, but if you want one with a lid, they cost over twice as much. Still, £5 is cheap, they have more expensive diaper buckets out there (which is funny because it's a fucking bucket, it doesn't have to be expensive or special).
Mothercare, the big UK baby store, is totally overrated. I think the £5 bucket I got was the only thing in the shop under a tenner. And they didn't even have mesh liners for it.

My areolas & nipples are really dark (like Kenyan dark), but I have no linea nigrea. I think the really dark areolas actually look really neat. Also, I think my boobs are getting bigger again. And they're still really perky (I noticed that now the baby dropped). I'd rather be flat, but they look pretty good, so I'm not really upset.

Met up with Lily (manager) at Thornwood Pub for lunch yesterday. The daughter of the lady who runs the pub gave me 2 more huge bags of baby clothes and a lifetime supply of baby bibs. She must have been given a record-breaking number of newborn-sized clothes and bibs.

Went to another NCT sale in Saturday. Scored a moses basket, £3, baby bjorn, £5, muslin squares, 50p, 3 thin fleece blankets, £1, 2 baby sleeping-bag/over-all combos (that prevent cot death), £2.50 for both, and a shitload of size 1 totsbots diapers and wraps, £32.
But seriously, being the crazy second-hand bargain huntress that I am, I am happy to say we have spent fuck-all on baby stuff and we have pretty much everything we need. My biggest expense was second-hand cloth diapers (they were more than the Pack n Play). I mean, I spent more on maternity clothes and nursing tops than all baby stuff put together and I didn't even really spend that much on maternity and nursing stuff because I got it all on clearance and ebay.

Also, thanks to foster076 for wishing me an early Happy Mother's Day.

Well, maybe my haircut doesn't make me look fat (see 3-posts ago), but Mark found the scale when we were unpacking this afternoon and I weigh as much as he does. I've gained 34 pounds. I bet I end up gaining ~40 if I don't pop early.

Did I mention my crazy ravenousness? It subsided (a bit) yesterday. I also noticed last night and this morning that not only am I carrying lower still, but that my stomach is even bigger!! It's popping out the bottom of all but my longest maternity shirts. Bertie must have had a growth spurt (either that or I am going to be giving birth to the biggest placenta ever). A few days ago, I could lie on my back a little, but it's really hard to do now, my own belly squishes me too much.

An unfortunate side-effect of carrying lower is hip joint pain (your body releases a hormone during the third trimester that makes your joints get mushy). Of course, this is only a problem when I am lying down. Last night my left hip joint hurt as badly as a leg cramp and it was really frustrating trying to find a comfortable position and trying to get back to sleep. I tried every position and, for some reason, the one that worked was sleeping on my side (on the offending hip) up-side-down (by Mark's feet) with a pillow between my knees and a pillow under my head (I don't usually sleep with a pillow).

That said, my hip joints feel fine now! And I am ravenous again. Uh-oh!

Week 36 starts today. I've started drinking smoothies made from peanut butter, soymilk, bananas, and cocoa powder to help curb my appetite. I take a nap every day.

Maybelline discontinued my favourite mascara, Full n Soft. Argh! I have, since January, tried every other Maybelline mascara for sale in the UK (except Great Lash, that's next and I remember not thinking it was so great when I used it in high school) and none of them are nearly as good. At the moment, I'm using Lash Stylist, but with an old Full n Soft wand. I've only used Maybelline mascaras since high school (the kind I used to use before I switched to Full n Soft is discontinued, too) and have thought about branching out now, but don't know where to start. I like a really soft mascara that won't crumble and flake into my eyes (sky high curves would be perfect if pieces of it didn't continually break off and fall into my eyes).

There is *_one_* ebay seller selling them in black, but they have an awful lot of negative feedback.
http://members.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewUserPage&userid=americanrx
http://toolhaus.org/cgi-bin/negs?User=americanrx&Dirn=Received+by&ref=home

I would have stocked up if I had known they were going to be discontinued! This is a mascara tragedy.

So what kind of mascara do you use?

Has anyone who reads this blog used reusable diapers on their kids? I'm curious to see what kinds people use and what they have to say about them, tips & tricks, etc. I have done a lot of googling, etc., but a lot of the questions I have have lead me to adult nappy sites, which aren't helpful when you have baby-diaper-related questions.
For instance, I tried to look up how to wash plastic pants (note to ebay sellers -- if you sell second hand plastic pants and diaper pins to non-fetishists, make sure they don't smell and make sure there isn't any baby poop on the diaper pins) and ended up finding a bunch of sites about guys (wearing plastic pants) needing a wash from their girlfriends. I know how to wash them now, but anyway, like I said, I am curious if anyone here has tried reuseables and what your experiences have been.

Does my new haircut make me look fat? ;p
Originally uploaded by chloe & mark nightingale

foster076

I've had trouble finding nice but inexpensive underwear here. For years, I always had access to this one cut (that's perfect for me and my ass) from the Vanity Fair outlet mall for between 50 cents and $1 a pair. No equivalent here. I thought I'd just buy a pack of cotton underwear. Size 8 (like a size 2 US, although you usually don't see smaller than that here) underwear tends to be too big. But seriously, kids underwear in the 11-12 year old size fits perfectly, even when I am pregnant. Before you think this is just because I'm unusually tiny, the widest part of my hips/ass was 34" before I got knocked up. Anyway, at least kids underwear is cute. I got some pink pairs with fairy princesses and hearts all over them.

I bought a 3-pack of some kids 'vests' a few months ago -- like wife beaters for little girls to wear under their schoolgirl blouses. I got little kid size and they were big enough that I had to take the one I'd tried on in in order for it to fit. I found the pack of the other 2 when I was unpacking the other day and they make great maternity tanks, although they are not long enough, naturally.

Let's not even get into my bra issues here in the UK, as if I don't already have enough bra/boob issues without being pregnant (bras with cups, they don't fit/work -- I've been professionally measured and tried loads of styles and brands). If it weren't for daintress buying me cupless sports bras as a preggo gift, I'd be doomed (as a preggo lady, at least).
I've bought some cup-less nursing bras and tops with built-in cup-less nursing bras on ebay.

Saw the midwife today. Everything is fine, baby is growing and -- the good news -- while not runty, is not likely to be unusually big. I was 9 pounds 9 ounces, my sister was 8 pounds, one ounce. My mom and all 3 of her sisters were 8 pound-something at birth. I was paranoid I'd have a big baby, too. Looks like he is on the road to normal baby size *fingers crossed*. Also, I was right, the baby did drop, although he has a little more to go.

I fell asleep watching a one-day international cricket match (alas, it got rained out) and woke up (it is LATE here) to Mark watching American baseball. Bedtime for me, I think.

You guys, my abdomen is HUGE. I feel like it's going to rip off and roll down the street. The baby 'dropped' on Saturday (there are mildly gory details involving, possibly, a bit of the cervical plug) and I'm carrying loads lower. Still no lower-back pain, although I need more sleep than usual and I have to rotate from side-to-side back and forth all night because my ribs and hips are tender.

Also, on Saturday, I went to an NCT (National Child Trust) Nearly New Baby Sale Thingmie in Glasgow and scored an assortment of posh reusable diapers. A whole set of Bambino Mio birth-to-potty pre-folds (I've read mixed reviews on these), disposable liners, cotton-tots diapers, and motherease all-in-one one-sizers. That way, I can figure out which kind(s) I prefer on a budget, instead of buying a bunch of their trial packs new.
There's another NCT Nearly New sale in Helensburgh in 2 weeks and I am going to scour the place for more diapers, a diaper bucket, mesh liners for the bucket, and baby wipes.

I also got a bag of second-hand newborn clothes (and nipple cream and some breast pads) from the daughter of the lady who runs the pub down the street from the betting shop where I worked. I need to write her a thank-you letter. I am sending some surplus baby clothes to my old roommate, diamond_pick's girlfriend. (And I'll throw in an assortment of loose teas and a wee bottle of bitters like I promised you ages ago, diamond_pick.)

AND, I've been buying some Majamas nursing tops and a bra on ebay. Ooh, and Joy of Cooking from, I believe, 1976, which comes highly recommended from my Aunt Deb. I guess there is an amazing Swedish Rye recipe in there, too! She says my gran (Alma, the cool one) has a copy of the book, too, and has made EVERYTHING in the book. I believe her, too -- Alma had 7 kids and cooked like a maniac.

Speaking of cooking, I'm going to make my creamless spinach soup and try a new recipe I've found for herbed (fresh basil, in this case) dumplings. I can't eat very much in one sitting (alas! I like to eat), but I feel almost permanently ravenous!! Off to start the soup...

Ladies & Gentlemen,

The livejournal post of the day:

http://fantasygoat.livejournal.com/96869.html

The rest of the blog is pretty good, too, I am a long-time fan.

The third trimester must be easier on taller/larger people. My rib cage feels like it's going to crack open any minute. That said, I'm not waddling, my lower-back doesn't hurt, and I don't have heartburn. I don't even have stretch marks (yet -- well, I have them all over my hips from adolescence, but not preggo-related ones).
Wee Bertie feels HUGE. He still moves like a maniac and his kicks are getting even stronger. This morning, I was subjected to a series of wee fast punches that were really funny. The kicks and rolls and wiggles don't bother me, as long as they are not aimed at my ribs or lungs. My foetus is seriously hyperactive. Week 35 starts Saturday.

To everyone who suggested the Graco Pack 'n' Play (glaukopis was the first), thank you. I put mine together yesterday -- I needed to see the mattress/base size because I was making crib sheets out of an old double bed sheet -- and it is about 50% bigger than I thought it would be, which is great. Also, it is awesome because, like I said, I wanted a playpen and this one comes with a bassinet and a changing tray and it was cheap.

So, my mom, despite still not speaking to me -- it's been a whole month, yay!, sent me even MORE 0-6 mo baby clothes (and baby towels and a couple receiving blankets). Wee Bertie has even more clothes than my husband does AND the lady from the pub down the street from the betting shop I worked in gave the betting shop manager a bunch of baby clothes (that her grandson outgrew) for me that I haven't even received yet (we're meeting up for lunch at said pub on Saturday). My roommate from college (the girl who taught me to crochet) is having a baby this summer and, provided she doesn't mind powder blue (they don't know the gender yet, but I am excited and we see more eye-to-eye on minimalist baby gear, midwives, etc.), I am sending some her way. I don't even have to wait until Bertie outgrows them, I have so many. (I'm saving some for even after he outgrows them because I want to have more kids, but seriously, I have enough baby clothes to clothe a small nation, I don't need them all and I am happy to share the bounty to people who don't mind second-hand clothes, especially the chick who taught me to crochet.)

I've been buying/shopping for Majamas nursing tanks and bras on ebay. I am so glad someone makes cup-less nursing bras. And they are they kind where you just pop out a boob, too, no snapping required! (Srsly, you guys, I cannot wear bras with cups. I've been professionally measured, I've tried a range of styles and brands, the cup-thing does not work.)

So yeah, hooray for playpens, baby clothes, and cup-less bras.

Also, Baco's are fucking disgusting. They make me ill. They even made Mark feel gimpy. Not to mention, they are full of hydrogenated oils and food-colouring, which we never eat. I have 2 unopened jars of them (they were gifts) and I can't even GIVE them away.

I can't stop cooking.
I finished up last night by making a vegan chocolate pudding, which I ate this morning -- it was so easy and so tasty.
Today, I made a blackberry-apple pie, a loaf of white bread, a loaf of rosemary bread, this millet pilaf that will turn into grain-burgers tomorrow, and homemade pasta (hand cut, hand rolled). For my first try, the pasta was pretty good. In the future (this evening, there is still more dough to be rolled), I will let it hang out after cutting it for a few minutes more and cook it even less (it only needs a minute or so).

Send someone over (I live on the shores of Loch Long) to stop me! (Or for dinner.)

Well, I made a craft blog for Galvanic Mag.

http://www.galvanic.co.uk/blog

It's not like I won't cross-post stuff here, too. For instance, Chantel's Hot German Potato Salad.

Chantel's Hot German Potato Salad

My little sister made this for me and my husband a long time ago. I didn't even know she could cook before I ate this! This is my own version of her recipe.

* 3 lbs Potatoes (about 9 medium size)
* 6 slices of crumbled veggie bacon or a few handfuls of crumbly fake bacon (like the kind you put on salads)
* a couple glugs of olive oil
* 3/4 cup chopped onion
* 2 tbsp flour
* 2 tbsp maple syrup (I prefer Grade B/Medium Grade)
* 2 tsp salt
* 1/2 tsp celery seed
* dash pepper
* 1/4 cup water
* 1/3 cup cider vinegar

Clean potatoes and remove eyes and any other unsightly bits. Boil in salted water (1/2 tsp to 1 cup water) for 30-35 minutes or until tender, drain, slice thinly.

While potatoes are a-boilin', fry fake bacon and onion in olive oil until onion is golden brown. Stir in flour, maple syrup, salt, celery seed, and pepper. Cook over low heat, stirring until bubbling. Remove from heat. Stir in water and vinegar. Heat back to boiling, stirring constantly. Boil & stir for 1 minute. Stir in potato slices carefully. Heat thoroughly, stirring lightly to coat potato slices.

Serve hot!

Dill-Chive Wholemeal Bread

1/2 tsp raw/unrefined cane sugar
1 tsp active dry yeast
4 oz hand-hot water (1/3 hot water 2/3 cold water)
1-3/4 cups whole wheat flour + a little extra for dusting your kneading surface
1/4 tsp salt
1 tbsp margarine
1/4 cup freshly chopped chives
2 tbsp freshly chopped or 1 tsp dry dill (leaves/weed, not seeds)

Note: If you wish to reconstitute dry dill in a tbsp or so of boiling water, reduce the amount of water in the rest of the recipe.

WASH YOUR HANDS. You may also wish to remove your finger rings, put on an apron, and push up your sleeves.

Proofing the yeast: In a small bowl, combine sugar and yeast. Pour in hand-hot water and whisk briskly. Set aside for 15-20 minutes while yeast activates. Yeast will have a nice frothy head of foam when it is ready -- whisk once more before using. If a frothy head of foam does not appear, you will have to start over: either the water was not hot enough to activate the yeast or it was too hot and you killed it.

While you are waiting for your yeast to activate, in a separate mixing bowl, combine flour, salt, chives, and dill. Work the margarine in with your hands until thoroughly mixed -- the flour will tend to ball up into little pea-sized bits.

Pour the bowl of proofed yeast and water into your mixing bowl and stir with a wooden spoon until thoroughly mixed -- dough will come off the sides of the bowl and follow the spoon.

Dust your work surface with flour and begin kneading the dough. Add flour as necessary, but don't overdo it -- unlike pastry dough, it's better to have your bread dough be a little too wet than too dry -- when dough is the right consistency it will just about not stick to a clean dry hand, but it will have a nice lustre to it. Some people believe you should knead dough for a minimum of 10 minutes, but you do what you think you knead (har har) to do.

Place the dough in a greased bowl (suitable for the dough to double in size), cover with a damp cloth or cling film to prevent a skin forming, and place in a warm area to rise for about 30 minutes.

Turn dough out of the bowl on to a clean work surface. Shape into rolls (8 equal portions) or a loaf and place on a greased baking tray. Cover and place in a warm area for 30 minutes or until doubled in size.

This is a good time to preheat your oven to 230°C/450°F.

Bake for 15-20 minutes if making rolls, 20-30 minutes if you are making a loaf. The crust of the bread should be toasty and brown. If the baking tray is not overly greasy, the bottom of the bread should make a nice hollow sound when you knock on it (you should be able to pick it right up -- although I'd recommend holding it with a dishcloth or oven mitt).

Now the toughest part: Don't cut the bread until it's cooled off a bit -- otherwise the innards will get gummed up where you slice it. Pick and nibble at the crust in the meantime. If you are dying for some hot fresh bread, break it, don't slice it.

Serve hot with margarine. Tastes great with my Bodacious Borscht or the Time Traveler's Rooty Veg Salad.